Finding Confidence and Joy through EFT

The ending of a relationship is a hugely stressful time in anyone’s life. We often lean on friends and family for support at this time. However, working with a therapist can help accelerate the healing process and enable you to make better decisions more quickly, which is vital if you are divorcing. In this series of blogs, we will explore different types of therapy and how they work. The same type will not work for everyone, so it is important to find the one that works for you. In the UK, we often view working with a therapist as a sign of weakness, but you will find that most of the people you consider to be strong have at some time or other sought help from therapy.

Finding confidence and joy through EFT
by Katya Willems

‘Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, either way, you are right.’ Henry Ford    

Bloody hell! This is so true. This quote gave me chills when I read it.    

We are so ruled by our subconscious beliefs. And so many of those beliefs are shaped in childhood.    

How I came across EFT    

I’m very grateful that three years ago, I discovered EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and started working with a practitioner. Through this work I was able to tap into a deep confidence and sense of wisdom within myself that I didn’t even know existed.    

How EFT works    

If you are unfamiliar with how EFT works, you use your index and middle finger to tap gently on meridian points on your head, face, collarbone, under arms and fingers at the same time as talking through a problem.  This allows you to dislodge and release the problem and see it in a new light.    

This may sound a bit wishy washy, but it’s powerful and fast.  I remember a friend describing it like ‘therapy on acid’.  And my experience totally backs this up.    

So what’s actually going on while your tapping? The way I explain it is that tapping is similar to acupuncture as it helps release energy that is blocked in your body by tapping on meridian points. Tapping allows the brain and body to let go of stress and negative emotions, as well as calm and regulate the central nervous system.    

The actual experience of doing EFT is far more magical and colourful than that, and really it needs to be experienced to be understood.      

95% of decisions we make come from our subconscious brain    

Did you know that 95% of the decisions we make in our lives come from our subconscious beliefs? These were mainly formed in early childhood. So whilst you might think all you need to to change your behaviour or to exert more willpower, that just doesn’t work for very long. Our subconscious acts like a magnet, dragging us back to old beliefs about ourselves  - such as ‘I don’t deserve to be rewarded’, ‘I’m a bad person’, ‘I’m unlovable’.  When we go for that promotion at work, yet again we won’t get it, because deep down a belief about ‘being stupid and incapable’ will rear its ugly head and you’ll mess up the interview.    

Addressing negative subconscious beliefs with EFT    

The trick with EFT is that while you are tapping, your subconscious is malleable and open to suggestion, so you can identify what beliefs are holding you back and challenge those beliefs and reset them to more helpful, positive and accurate beliefs.    

My life changed dramatically thanks to EFT  

I worked with an EFT practitioner for two years and my confidence rocketed in that time. The simplest way I can describe the outcome is that I got rid of so many of the negative beliefs in my head that had been planted there by my upbringing and schooling. My introverted parents made me believe everything was my fault because I was too lively and curious for them. The teachers at my very academic school made me believe I was stupid and lazy because I struggled with their teaching style.    

The practitioner helped me let go of these beliefs, mainly through tapping and reframing old traumatic memories that I didn't realise were still stored in my body and ruling my subconscious. I literally felt like I shed micro trauma after micro trauma until I felt so much more sure of myself and at home in my own body.    

I am so much lighter and brighter as a result.  I radiate a different energy these days.  And I'm so grateful for that.    

My own EFT practise    

I'm now trained in EFT myself and I find that tapping is a very versatile tool to use with my clients in a variety of ways.  Sometimes myself and clients just tap and chat.  They will tell me about things that are challenging them. The tapping has this wonderful way of disrupting their perspective so they can see things from a different angle and new opportunities within a seemingly difficult situation start to arise.  At other times we work on reframing difficult memories from the past. I often throw in visualisations of their future selves as well, which helps give their subconscious a positive road map to be guided by.      

Cumulatively, all these different methods help my clients to let go of their sh*t and reconnect with their confidence and plan a brighter future.  EFT often leads to surprisingly fast results without having to go into painfully analysing and reliving the past. It’s actually usually quite fun.  And as a bonus, clients can also learn to do the tapping on themselves without a practitioner, which means they have a lovely set of tools for life.  

Work with me    

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