Christmas is Coming – Family at Christmas

Current King of the Jungle, Harry Redknapp, was quoted as saying that his son Jamie’s divorce was “very difficult for us”. He went on to say that he and Sandra “love Louise as well. It was a big blow to all of us.” We consider how divorce and separation can impact the family at Christmas.

Divorce impacts the wider family, not just the couple and their children. Often grandparents have less contact with grandchildren and may be expected to take sides. This can be difficult. Harry Redknapp says that everything is amicable with Jamie and Louise. However, it can still cause tensions when wider family are keen to spend special days, such as Christmas Day with their grandchildren. We can’t be in two places at the same time. However, it is important to remember the impact on other family members. It is good to try to ensure they have time with the children, even if it can’t be exactly when they would like.

Tips for making Christmas easier

• Try to agree with your ex who will make arrangements with who. It is usual for your each to arrange with your own family, but this is not always the case.
• If work or other commitments do not allow for arrangements to be made over Christmas, visit early in the New Year.
• You could try alternating between grandparents spending Christmas Day with their grandchildren, if it is possible.
• If possible, make sure that everyone gets some time and explain if it isn’t possible to make as much time as they would like.
• It is even more difficult with teenagers who would choose to be with their friends, rather than any other family. They don't want to being taken from one relative to another. Maybe explain to them why it is important.

As we are so often reminded, Christmas is a time for family. When the family do not all live together, things can get complicated. However, planning ahead, keeping everyone informed and giving time should make things easier. Most importantly, have a Merry Christmas!

If you have enjoyed this blog, please read Tamsin’s previous blog which offers tips on handling Christmas. Tamsin Caine heads up Smart Divorce and is a Chartered Financial Planner. She has been through divorce herself and has come out the other side. If you need any help with arranging your finances in divorce or separation, please email tamsin@smartdivorce.co.uk.