What should I do with my rings?

When you divorce, what will you do with your engagement and wedding rings? In the first episode of series 5, Tamsin speaks to Jewellery Designer, Ruth Chipperfield, who has some ideas about this that you might not have considered, or even know are possible!

Ruth Chipperfield is a jewellery designer and goldsmith. Having founded Ruth Mary Jewellery, she specialises in remodelling sentimental heirlooms into bespoke pieces of jewellery that tell a story. Coming from a chemistry background, she is entirely self taught, fusing her passion for science with gemstones and creative design.

www.ruthmary.com

www.Facebook.com/ruthmaryjewellery

www.Instagram.com/ruthmaryjewellery

www.Twitter.com/r_m_jewellery


Tamsin is a Chartered Financial Planner with over 20 years experience. She works with couples and individuals who are at the end of a relationship and want agree how to divide their assets FAIRLY without a fight.

You can contact Tamsin at tamsin@smartdivorce.co.uk or arrange a free initial meeting using https://calendly.com/tamsin-caine/15min. She is also part of the team running Facebook group Separation, Divorce and Dissolution UK

Tamsin Caine MSc., FPFS
Chartered Financial Planner
Smart Divorce Ltd
https://smartdivorce.co.uk

P.S. I am the co-author of “My Divorce Handbook – It’s What You Do Next That Counts”, written by divorce specialists and lawyers writing about their area of expertise to help walk you through the divorce process. You can buy it by scanning the QR code…
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Transcript

(The transcript has been created by an AI, apologies for any mistakes)

Tamsin Caine 0:06
Hello, and welcome to the Smart Divorce podcast. In series five, my guests will be helping you to come out of your divorce, dissolution, or big breakup and create a different you move forward with the things that you want to be able to achieve and think about things differently. I really hope you enjoy this series. I'm your host, Tamsin Caine. And we'll be meeting some fabulous guests, I hope you enjoy them. If you do have any suggestions as to for the guests that we could have on, then we'd be more than delighted to hear from you. I hope you enjoy. Hello, and welcome to the Smart Divorce podcast. I've just had a fantastic conversation with Ruth Chipperfield, who I'm going to introduce you to in just a second. And Ruth is a jewellery designer. We're going to talk today about what to do with your wedding and engagement rings after you get forced; we'll have a chat about what the options are what you might want to think about some of the things that you could do with your jewellery that you might not even have thought of. Now, it might not be the right time right now. And you might not be ready for these sorts of decisions. But I think that knowing about what's available is always a positive thing. So I hope you enjoy our conversation as much as I did. Let's jump right in. This morning I'm really happy to be joined by Ruth Chipperfield. Hi, Ruth, how you doing?

Ruth Chipperfield 1:46
I'm good. Thank you.

Tamsin Caine 1:48
Excellent, very lovely necklace and earrings you're wearing there. I know we're going to talk more about that. So you might be thinking why on earth am I commenting on Ruth's jewellery that she's wearing? Well, Ruth is a jewellery designer and goldsmith. And she founded Ruth Mary Jewellery and specialises in remodelling sentimental heirlooms into bespoke pieces of jewellery that tell a story. And she's comes from a chemistry background, which is pretty fascinating. And I'm hoping we're going to talk a little bit more about that. She's entirely self taught, fusing her passion for science with gemstones and creative design. And I should explain why Ruth is here because that this may seem a random conversation to be having on a divorce podcast. But we got to know each other in through a Facebook group that we're both members of and she approached me and her question was, what do your clients do with their wedding rings and engagement things? And I was like, no. So we thought we would have this conversation because Ruth has some brilliant ideas. So before we get really stuck in, so tell me a bit more about how you got into this because I'm fascinated by the science link.

Ruth Chipperfield 3:14
Well, it started out as a more of a personal story. So I started out in chemistry, I was doing my degree, and then I got quite poorly, with a condition called narcolepsy. So then that's the point where I sort of had to drop out, I'm extremely blessed to be very happily married, which I know obviously isn't the case for everyone. And my husband was sort of my carer during that time. And there wasn't much that I could do other than sort of do things, my hands a little bit few waking hours ahead, and the day was healthy enough. So I'd sort of been making jewellery and then gradually, the design sort of got more interesting. And people started to buy things. And I see jewellery, very much a sculpture. So I've always thought in three dimensions, which is I think, why chemistry was suited me because you're thinking of molecules in a three dimensional space. So obviously, that's on the very small scale, but then on the bigger scale, or Baosteel small, you get jewellery where, initially, my designs, I'd hand stitched lace, and then cost that and precious metal. So that's including the necklace and earring somewhere. And yeah, so it kind of sort of grew from that. I mean, I did go back to university, and I did some research on environmental sustainability, and things. But yeah, I think the two go really, really nicely together, actually, especially when it comes to gemstones, and then durability and their properties, and things like that. So that's kind of more how it came about. But I'm sort of coming a bit full circle now and having conversations with my old professors in terms of developing undergraduate experiments to do with materials from metals and gemstones and things like that, which is quite exciting. Really.

Tamsin Caine 4:57
Oh, wow. I love that. That's amazing. So how long have you had your business that?

Ruth Chipperfield 5:02
It's been about, I think five and a half years. But I've been doing this Yeah.

Tamsin Caine 5:09
So fair time. And in in the introduction, we talked about you, your business is about remodelling sentimental heirlooms. Can you tell us a bit more about that?

Ruth Chipperfield 5:22
Yeah. So I, I just love stories. And I think that's what jewellery is all about. It's the story. And so much. So often people have a piece of jewellery in the jewellery box that they don't wear, it carries sentimental value, but they just it's not their style. So what do you do with it sort of sits there. And, and that's where I'll come in. And I'll redesign or reuse the gold or reuse the gemstones to design something completely new. I mean, what I did recently, then it was the client's mother's it was her engagement ring. And it had diamonds and sapphires sort of integrated, so it was a bit more like an eternity ring. And, and I remodelled that piece. And so design kind of Art Nouveau style Cross, which I'm sure you'll probably see on your screen, send you the image afterwards. Yeah, it was it was a an Art Nouveau cross. And the the idea behind that was this clients mum really liked cross shapes quite religious and hearts as well. And we didn't want it to be really gimmicky. But the client, she didn't really know what she wanted. So she kind of just gave me creative freedom. And we chatted about different shapes. And then I came up with a design and it was just perfect for her. So that's quite common. Sometimes clients will know exactly what they want. And other times they don't really, they're just open to ideas. And then I'll just sort of pick up different clues in terms of how they want to wear it, what's their lifestyle, and things like that. So another one that I did was from this was actually a client from a previous marriage, and she had the engagement ring that she wasn't wearing. It's sat in a box, kind of what do I do with it? And some people I mean, we'll get onto that in a minute. But remodelling do we sort of from map marriage story isn't for everyone. But I for her, then I've used the gold and the diamond and designed necklace for her daughter who was only about seven at the time. So it was for her when she turned 16. And so it was as a matter of designing something that kind of suits her character. She wasn't a sort of Goody three little girl wearing dresses. So flowers and those kind of motifs were completely out the question. She was more of a sort of feisty girl like her mother. Absolutely. So she knew her mind. And it was much of just designing something where it would, it's timeless, but it'll hit style trends when she turns 16. Because sort of trends tend to follow roughly a 20 year cycle. So you can predict, especially with jewellery, you can predict what's going to be on trend. And when you 16 months stuff's important.

Tamsin Caine 8:05
Wow, that's really clever. I definitely thought about that side of things. And I haven't got clue that fashion trends when in 20 year cycles. That's amazing.

Ruth Chipperfield 8:15
Unless, I mean, it's not quite as simple as that. But they do kind of follow a bit of a pattern

Tamsin Caine 8:23
gives you a guide. Yeah, no, I love that. That's really cool. So when you message me on Facebook, what there were some there were things in your head about, about what people could do with their rings. So I know with my wedding ring and my engagement ring there. I think they're in a box. But my yet my original plan was to give them to my daughter who is constantly 16. But like, since speaking to you I am I'm thinking well, maybe, maybe I'll get you to have a look at them and see if we can do something for it,

Ruth Chipperfield 9:06
Yeah, send me a picture that was initially just send me a picture. And then I'll give you my thoughts because often it's that first step where you're like, I don't really know where to start. And joy is such a big topic as well sometimes, sort of, like the most orders, you'll go into a job and say I want to buy something but I don't know what I want. And because it's such a male dominated industry, then you can be met with quite a lot of resistance. Whereas I come from the other aspect like sort of my core values are about sort of being compassionate human and the creative. So I'm like let's just have a creative conversation even if it doesn't lead anywhere like I'm gonna have a good time chatting to you so yeah, but I find with them wedding and engagement rings and the kind of three things that people might tend to want to do with them. And they're not always straight after a divorce mean obviously as you all know divorce is a longer process anyway. But sometimes people do actually just want to leave them in the box until they feel mentally ready to even think about it, which is absolutely fine. I've said to people before, when I've been chatting, actually, let's wait a few months, because I want it to be a healing process, not something that people get stressed about. But the three things I tend to find is one is people just want to get rid, just sell them. And I can go into that in a bit more detail in a minute. But so one is sort of get rid sell them just get some money and then not have to think about them anymore. The other is resize either for themselves, say to wear an engagement ring on a different finger or for, say, a daughter or sister or a cousin or whoever it might be. And then the other one is a complete redesign. Yeah. So I mean, I can go into sort of the first

Tamsin Caine 10:48
let's go through those. Yeah. So selling. Yeah. Talk me through that.

Ruth Chipperfield 10:54
So selling jewellery, what often surprises people is, whatever you paid for your rings, you'll get nothing like that back if you sell them, unfortunately. And when it comes, especially when it comes to wedding rings, and the sort of simpler engagement, I mean, by simple, I mean, ones that you see around a fair bit, because, as I mentioned, it's a bit of a male dominated industry and sort of a lot, you get a lot of very, very similar engagement rings. And that when you're in the trade, it's sort of similar to a lot of others you've seen, so unfortunately, they don't sort of fetch large amounts of money in terms of design in their own right.

Tamsin Caine 11:41
That's really surprising. Yeah. Why did they not fetch on this? Kind of second? Thoughts? All right, horrible,

Ruth Chipperfield 11:50
but it's a variety of reasons. One is the retail markup. Okay. So if you're selling to, I mean, if you were say, to sell privately, and then you might get a bit more for it, but then obviously, there's a trust issue, especially with Fine Jewellery. So that can be quite a tricky one. But, yeah, I mean, there's the retail markup, then there's, generally speaking, again, we're talking about sort of the simpler, more modern designs, I can talk separately about sort of, say, the antique and sort of style rings that might be sold as they are, and then you're kind of looking at the individual components. So you've got gold, where you'll get sort of the scrap value, which sounds awful, but that's what it is. Yeah, it is, and that needs refining, and things like that. So sort of, it's not as simple as just sort of, you can just melt down and reuse, because you've got different methods of say, casting jewellery uses a slightly different sort of makeup than if you're drawing wire and hammering it, though, just a few different additives that all will aid the process. So it sort of depends what it's used for. And so generally, that'll be scrapped, probably, I mean, personally, what I tend to do is, if a customer wants, has some jewellery, they want to get rid of scrap, someone in the trade, I get higher scrap price than sort of your average person. And I'll not make money on the scrap, I'll then sell that to my dealer, whatever you want to call them. And then I'll essentially give the same amount in batches. So if that's something they want, then, I mean, if they don't want anything new, they just want to sell them and we see no use to them. But yeah, sometimes it can be helpful, especially if people just don't want to think about something, just want something new and just like here you go, you sort it. So that's in terms of the metal in terms of the diamonds then and other gemstones as well. Then again, you've got the obviously the retail market, but the other thing is, generally, the paper trail ends up being lost. And that's something quite important when it comes to ethical things and that so diamonds actually especially the tiny diamonds, diamonds, you'll basically get nothing for them pretty much. I mean, sort of a nice solitaire diamond and an engagement ring you'll get something for and if someone wants to just get rid of an engagement ring and it's got a decent diamond and what I personally advise is there's an auction house called fellows jewellery, and they're brilliant. They're, you can send stuff to them, they'll check it they'll value it and then you're not paying separate for valuation and then selling it so it's all kind of in one obviously there are fees involved but that's probably your best bet to do that. And so yeah, but with diamonds then they all have to be certified so if for it to be resold, I mean if you're buying a diamond which is I don't know one carat or something you want to know What kind of what kind of diamond you've, you've got that for your insurance purposes? So it's those kinds of things and then with other gemstones, and sometimes they need to be polishing? Because they do. Well, I mean, it's an easier case with diamonds, sapphires, rubies, and even things like aqua, marine topaz, anything if you Google the more scale mrhs, seven and above or maybe eight and above, then you're in a better position. And I think the low that then it's much, much harder to recycle, if then got to know what treatments the stones hard, which obviously you can't. So there's so many things that you sort of have to get through which you wouldn't necessarily think of when it comes to recycling gems, which all then takes time in the industry and then people get who are selling at a lower price for it. Which is why often a really lovely way is actually often not going to get that much for anyway. Meanwhile, Weezer

Tamsin Caine 16:00
definitely, wow, that's a complete minefield that I never. Yeah. Okay

Ruth Chipperfield 16:10
So second option that after making it sound incredibly complicated. Finally, I can boil that down. If you want to get rid of jewel jewellery and not have to think about it, take it to a pawnbrokers or local bullion dealer, if you really just don't want to think about any methods or anything, take it to me, I won't make money off it. But then you can buy something from me for the equivalent amount of money. And if you don't know where to start, I'll just advise that's totally fine. Or you can send it to fellows. But if it's got a gemstone in of note, then Yeah.

Tamsin Caine 16:44
Wonderful. Okay. So option two, the resize. Yes,

Ruth Chipperfield 16:49
yes. So resizing, it can be. I mean, some things are more difficult than others to resize. And if the certain settings where if you end up making it smaller, the gemstones kind of pop out. So that would sort of not particularly work. I mean, in my experience, most of the time making gemstones bigger, not small gemstones, that would be a challenge. You're making rings bigger, not smaller. I'm not sure why that is. Maybe it's because people then have my

Tamsin Caine 17:21
thing other than my little finger. That's,

Ruth Chipperfield 17:24
I think that's what it is. So I'm going to wear this one or this one. Yeah, exactly. I think that's the thing. And then also, especially with women, and finger sizes tend to increase with age. And that's just due to, obviously Pregnancy is a common one, you kind of if things don't always get back down to the size that they were, if you gain weight, that's just the way it is. But it doesn't seem to correlate with the rest of the body, that type. Sometimes, it just sort of people kind of have a hang up about their finger size. And I'm like, why such a range. And so yeah, and then sort of hormonal changes, sort of arthritis and things. So those are, often they end up being really sort of sized up rather than down. And so depending on how much metal is in there, then you can just stretch it. So that's not as expensive sometimes you need to cut and then just insert a bit of metal, what I tend to do is I get my laser queen as I like to call her to laser weld, which just means that the gemstones are extra protected. So you're not kind of heating in the same way. I always whenever I do any kind of repair or resize, I have to give people disclaimers of things that might happen to their jewellery that I can't be responsible for, which always sounds horrible, because it sounds like you're kind of picking, picking their jewellery for its quality and all of that. So I try and kind of communicate why. Yeah, I kind of have to do that. Otherwise, yeah, something did happen, then. Yeah, well, I just have to charge a ridiculous amount, which no one wants. So

Tamsin Caine 18:57
yeah, okay. So that makes sense that that version. That sounds relatively straightforward. Yeah. Yeah. Sure. It's not straightforward from your end. But

Ruth Chipperfield 19:07
well, no one needs to bother about that. It's my problem.

Tamsin Caine 19:11
On my end, that sounds a little bit more straightforward. And then the third option is the one that absolutely, like totally fascinates me, which is which, which is the suggestion of making the rings into something else.

Ruth Chipperfield 19:26
Yeah. Yeah.

Tamsin Caine 19:28
Bring us through how that works.

Ruth Chipperfield 19:30
So there's there's one that I mean, I can sort of hold it up to the screen, but this one

Tamsin Caine 19:40
podcast, this is not going to mean anything to you. So I can maybe you want to have a look on there. Oh, yeah, that's true. On the video, but on YouTube, but it's it's a ring that's been kind of transformed into almost a sort of V shaped I don't want it.

Ruth Chipperfield 20:00
Yeah. So it kind of almost represents wings

Tamsin Caine 20:03
and might let you describe it because you're probably

Ruth Chipperfield 20:07
true. Yeah, I'll stop holding it up. Because for the benefit of these people on the podcast, so they see the, I can't remember how big the diamond was, I mean, it's irrelevant, really sort of, in a sense to a lot of people mean, sort of can be a bit, sort of, mine's bigger than yours type thing sometimes come. Let's not play that game. But yeah, so absolutely lovely diamond. And I mean, going with this one, then I kind of went around sort of lace style on that and did a necklace where it sort of represents, it's almost like wings sort of fly freedom, kind of, be a high fly, achieve what you want. That's kind of it. I like to sort of have metaphors and meanings that aren't just really obvious and gimmicky. But it just sort of means something in terms of new life. And obviously, it's for the daughter, so it's different anyway, but the can I did actually search for my work. I don't know whether she has so not seen her in a while. But yeah, so I basically hand stitched this shape in cotton thread, and then cast that in the 18 karat gold. And the setting that I use. I did a wax setting just for the model that was then cast. And then yes, set the diamond and

hang on a sec, slow down. So many details, and you're talking in a whole new language to me. What's your wake setting tell me to talk me through like, so you stitch some, some cards.

So what I do is I create models. So it's basically the shape that the final piece is going to be. But I create it in a different material and then make a mould around it, tuck the model away and then pour in melt molten metal, there are a few more processes, but you don't need to know about all of them.

Tamsin Caine 22:06
That's very clever.

Ruth Chipperfield 22:09
And I did the general lace shape. And then to create the setting where the diamond was gonna sit, then that was designed on on CAD and then sort of 3d printed in wax as it were again, I'm probably going to wait until here. And that's then that I then attached to the lace, the lace model. So the whole the original model was basically part wax part sort of cotton thread lace, and then made a mould around it chuck the original thing away and then poured in the the 18 karat gold. And in terms of whether people have nine or 18 karat I mean, you don't always have to sort of recycle the actual gold. From that specific piece of jewellery you can sometimes use other gold it depends what's important to people and things like that. But with this particular diamond because it was quite a decent sized diamond then I said actually, it would be very odd to set it in nine carat. And if you ever show that to people in the future, there'd be a bit like it was this diamond rule is a sort of I mean, obviously you can discover quite quickly whether it is or isn't. But yeah, January I mean there is a slight colour difference with nine versus 18 karat with this size diamond. It just seemed to make sense. When it comes to other pieces of jewellery then I'm very honest. I'm just like you're wasting your money on 18 Karat. Nine just seems completely appropriate. So yeah, so that's what I did. And yeah, turnout a really really look up it does.

Tamsin Caine 23:41
It looks absolutely beautiful. When so when you've got so I've gotten less, I'll try and wear this another way. I've got an A an engagement ring, which is nine karat gold with a diamond in it. And I've got a very plain and but 18 karat gold wedding band. Okay, they would end you thinking, like, if I said all I would like this be remodelling, would you use the? Like, I'm not sure how this worked. But would you sort of aim to use the gold from both rings and do something? Like if I wanted it making into a necklace, for example, my little girl. I'm still calling them my little girl even though she's 16 years old, as tall as me. But like, if we're going to do something like that, would you use the metal from both rings? Would you just use the diamond? What kind of how what's the process?

Ruth Chipperfield 24:42
Well, first of all, I think what we do is we chat about what kind of necklace you want. And I always start with what do you want? What's the general start and then we work out the how. And so that's always sort of the starting point and then a bit sort of around budget. Some people at certain times people have no idea what kind of what the things are going to cost and then I'll guide them a little bit, sometimes it's generally quite helpful to know roughly, but then it would be sort of, if you, it's a little bit more expensive to use the specific gold from the rings, because there's an extra refining cost, unless I'm literally cutting the metal shaping it. But if it doesn't need melting down and things like that, then often it does need a little bit of refining. So that adds a bit of cost. So it depends what's important to people, if they're not that bothered, then I'll sell that for sort of scrap, there's that horrible word again, and buy new gold. So but in terms of like, if you, let's say, for example, you wanted that specific gold. And generally with hallmarking, you kind of want it to either be nine or 18, or 14 karat can work as well as use less over here, there's no reason why not. And so what I do is I'd melt these down, re alloy it, which basically means you're removing all the other metals so that there's just gold, and then adding other metals back in so that it's the nine or the 18, whatever carat you want. So you can do different I mean, what you can even do, and this is something that a lot of people don't know is if you've got yellow gold, and actually you've decided you don't like yellow gold, you want white gold, that can be made into white gold.

Tamsin Caine 26:21
No way, can it? Yeah.

So it's the same process. So you take out, melt it all down, take out all the other metals. And so the yellow gold, you've sort of got a fair amount of copper and silver, take all of that out. And then you're adding palladium and other metals in to make it white gold, and then use that.

That's really funny, isn't it? Because I always noticed a massive difference between the, like you said before, the colour of nine carat gold is quite different to the colour of 18 karat gold. So my engagement ring was nine like we're doing as a team, and I was never that keen on the colour of my wedding ring. It's a bit more orangey it is yeah. And I was like, Oh man, I'm not sure I like like I preferred randomly that the colour of the night. Correct. So like, if I was looking to make something out of them, I would say, well, actually the colour of the 90s I prefer it. Yeah, I've obviously got very cheap tastes.

Ruth Chipperfield 27:28
But it's just about preference. And I think that's the thing. I mean, sort of, you get. I mean, everyone, every jeweller has kind of got their opinion on things. My personal opinion is I absolutely just love design. And I'm not so keen on non precious metals for a variety of reasons, and you can't do as much with them and that kind of thing. But in terms of precious metals, then sort of whether it's nine, whether it's a teen and sort of, you know, you can have a big kind of argument of what's better than a big investment and blah, blah, blah, but ultimately, it's what you prefer and what you want to wear and what's your story?

Tamsin Caine 28:10
Yeah, yeah, no, absolutely. No, I totally appreciate that. And I know, we don't talk about money in this country, but we're gonna, if it's okay. And so what are we,I know, it's gonna depend on the design, etc, etc. What What kind of world we I'm assuming this, like, the top limit, sort of limitless, we, what is the starting point.

Ruth Chipperfield 28:38
And so probably the your starting point might be sort of around, say 800, or something like that. Sort of this is a vast range of a starting point of sort of 800 to 2000. It's one of those ways, it's flexible, it depends how much gold you've got, whether you need a lot, adding to it. And then, of course, the design and how long the design takes So, but I'm always open to having a conversation with people and I think sort of people shouldn't ever feel embarrassed if they're not sure how much something's going to cost. Or if actually, they've got an idea, and then it's like, okay, my budgets, that's quite a lot smaller, because like people just don't know.

Tamsin Caine 29:27
No, I wouldn't have had the faintest idea,

Ruth Chipperfield 29:29
hey, when it comes to resizing rings, then some will be very simple. There'll be sort of 50 quid, maybe, possibly even less, and then some will be quite complicated. They'll need things doing to the settings that there might be a couple of 100. So it's sort of it depends, really, I mean, something that I always do and it's something to sort of bear in mind is a lot of the small the tiny diamonds that you kind of get often on eternity rings Send a wedding rings and things like that or sort of round the, like I say, as a halo around on just an engagement ring, then with those those kinds of gemstones just the way they set. And if they're not sort of regularly looked at and maintained, then they, they're the first to be lost. So I do get calls for a lot of loss of stuff, and people will get quite upset and don't know where to turn. And it's like, it's okay, it can be fixed. And some dollars will then sort of look at that stone, they'll replace that stone, make sure that setting safe. Personally, I don't, I don't do that, if I'm repairing one stone, I look up all of the little ones. I mean, obviously, I'll make sure that the big one isn't sort of crazy. But that's one thing after putting my disclaimer that I can't sort of be liable. I mean, I've never had the big stone suddenly come out, but it's something that I have to do. And as for the little ones, I will guarantee them for a year. And make sure that sort of they're not, you haven't then got other stones coming out. And it's the same sort of with resizes, then I'll make sure that sort of if there's any, what we call the tipping, which basically just laser welding extra metal onto the claws, I'll make sure that that's all done at the same time so that it is properly serviced. And it's not suddenly gonna do something

Tamsin Caine 31:23
about getting your ring serviced. But I love that I like that it's my day.So just this is obviously something that you've done before. And and I just kind of wondered if you have any stories? I know you've mentioned that. The lady before who'd who'd had her jewellery, redesigned. But is this something that that you see a lot people who've gone through divorce and going through this process?

Ruth Chipperfield 31:59
Yeah, I mean, it's only been sort of probably the last three years that I've sort of been focusing more on kind of the remodelling and that kind of thing. And but yeah, I do see more of it. And I think the story is one really key because ultimately, when people have been through divorce, it's a tough time. And so for example, is one lady I was talking to. And I think she's got some rings from a previous marriage, and then some from like, not marriage, but narcissistic relationship, essentially. And she's like, I just don't want to think about it. So I said to her, Do you know what? I'll, if you want, I'll, I mean, it's it's sending the rings to fellows Auction House. But if you're not familiar with the system, then it can be tricky. And actually, she just doesn't want to answer the emails and have to deal with that. So might not just give it to, like, I'll sort it for you. Which, you know, that's something that for her, it's just the right thing. She doesn't want any redesign, she just wants it out. And sort of some people kind of feel a bit kind of like, sort of almost like there's an energy associated with sort of the rings and that kind of thing. And actually, they just don't want to have to think about it. So yeah, that's, that's one thing. I mean, yeah, I've read I've resized for people, and actually, sometimes it's nice ring. I'm gonna carry on wearing that I'm not giving it back to him when you get sort of. Yeah, so. Yeah. And then I've got others that I'm working on at the moment that, obviously the stories are incomplete. So something that I can I can share just yeah,

Tamsin Caine 33:42
of course, I think it's really interesting. I mean, when you when you first approached me, I was like, Well, I don't really like I, mine are in a box. I don't know what, you know, it's not something that I've ever spoken to about clients. But I think that it's something that people do think stop sort of thinking about once they've come out the other side. And

Ruth Chipperfield 34:05
I think typically, it's kind of people tend to leave it a couple of years initially, which is why I guess you wouldn't really end up discussing that part. And ultimately, when you're sort of evaluating assets and that kind of thing, sort of jewellery that's too small. And on the VLA, it's easy to kind of that kind of thing. I mean, I don't know how the financial things and all that work, but often that doesn't really feature so it would be quite, quite normal. And I think often, I mean, sometimes people do want to just sort of do something with their rings quite soon, but sometimes actually just letting sort of the dust settle a little bit and discovering sort of who they are now what their new life looks like. For a little while before doing anything is absolutely the right thing to do. Like I wouldn't ever want to sort of Rush someone into it.

Tamsin Caine 34:56
No, absolutely. But I think it's really useful for people to know that there are options out there that there are things that you can do with them other than just leave them in a box like so. I think that's fascinating. Really, thank you so much for joining me today. I hope our listeners they have got some real insight from from what you've said today and that helps them to perhaps make some slightly different decisions than they might otherwise have done. So before you we leave you could you possibly just tell our listeners viewers where they can get hold of you where they can find you?

Ruth Chipperfield 35:36
Yes, so my website is Ruthmary.com and then on social media if you search Ruth Mary Jewellery then you can find me and all of my contact details and everything. I I manage those personally so you will actually get through to little me

Tamsin Caine 35:57
That's wonderful! Thank you so much for joining me today and we'll catch up again soon.

Ruth Chipperfield 36:03
Thank you

Tamsin Caine 36:08
Hi, and I hope you enjoy the episode of the Smart Divorce podcast. If you would like to get in touch please have a look in the show notes for our details or go into the website www.smartdivorce.co.uk. Also, if you are listening on Apple podcasts or on Spotify, and you wouldn't mind leaving us a lovely five star review. That will be fantastic and that lots of our listeners are finding this is incredibly helpful in their journey through separation divorce and dissolving a civil partnership. Also, if you would like some foot further support, we do have a Facebook group now. It's called separation divorce and dissolution UK. Please do go on to Facebook search the group and we'd be delighted to have you join us. The one thing I would say is do please answer their membership questions. Okay, have a great day and take care

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

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