Do you need a basic guide to find your way through divorce?

When I started going through divorce, I couldn’t find a guide that would help me to understand the basic process and to explain the options I had available. And so, when our small group of divorce professionals decided a year ago to write a book, this seemed to be the ideal solution for others now in that position.

“Your Divorce Handbook – It’s What You Do Next That Counts”

The book sets out to provide a step-by-step guide to take you from separation and the emotional turmoil that brings, all the way to beginning your new chapter when you start to find your own wings. It includes two chapters written by each of the authors:

Susan Leigh – Counsellor hypnotherapist
Marcia Lister – Mediator
Katie McCann – Family Lawyer and Barrister
Carole Nettleton – Family Lawyer
Daniel Bell – Mortgage Adviser
Tamsin Caine (me!) – Chartered Financial Planner

Susan’s chapters top and tail the book. In her first chapter, she deals with the emotional effects of separation, feelings of failure, supporting yourself and even how to tell the children. The final chapter is full of positivity, growing in confidence and even looking at a return to dating.

Marcia considers conflict and the various aspects of mediation, which is one of the non-court options available for those divorcing or ending a civil partnership. There are many different ways of using mediation now, both for financial or children, and some that may even be suitable in instances of abuse.

In her first chapter, Katie covers the other non-court options that you may wish to consider, such as collaborative law, round table meetings, private FDRs and arbitration. In her second chapter, Katie details the court process. Whilst we would prefer couples to find a non-court, more amicable solution to their divorce or dissolution, it is not always possible, especially when the other party is looking for a fight. It is therefore important to understand what to expect from the court process.

Carole writes about working with a solicitor through the divorce or dissolution process. She covers how to find one, what they do and how things work best with them. Carole also covers the children aspects of divorce and how to begin to resolve issues relating to them.

As a mortgage adviser, Daniel has many years of experience with clients buying and selling houses. He writes about the mortgage process, if you are looking to keep the family home and buy your ex out or buy a new property yourself. He also covers the home buying process and how it works.

In my first chapter, I write about unscrambling your finances, understanding what you have and what you need, with also some information about pensions, which seem to be the cause of a large amount of stress when it comes to separating the marital assets. In my second chapter, I focus on the future; what you want this to look like and how to live the life that you want.

Why did we write a book?

As I said at the top, I was keen because of my own experiences of not being able to find a suitable guide for myself. Susan Leigh says,

“By the time a person reaches the point of considering divorce to be an option, they’re often feeling battered, bruised and confused. I loved being a part of bringing so much “early days” information into their hands. A clear, all your questions answered, accessible guide, there whenever you need it.”

I’m sure that this is the case with all the authors. We are keen to ensure that this book gets into the hands of those who need help and guidance. Whilst it is aimed at those at the very beginning of the process, there is plenty of information to help throughout.

Carole Nettleton felt,

“I wanted to contribute to the book as there is a lot of legal misinformation out there and to give readers a practical outlook on either divorce, finances or children proceedings. I am hoping my contribution will give people going through a stressful time some advice as to their legal position and how a court might approach their case. I honestly really enjoyed writing my chapters!!”

Although I’m not a lawyer, I see it often myself. It is worth remembering that everyone’s situation is different and so your divorce is likely to differ from your friend’s/neighbour’s/family member’s. Our book won’t answer every question you have but will give you the information you need to get you on the right track to begin with.

Buy the book

You can buy “Your Divorce Handbook – It’s What You Do Next That Counts” on the book’s own website or on Amazon. If you do buy it, we’d love you know what you think, so please drop us an email with your feedback or put a review on Amazon. The more reviews we have, the more people we can help with the book.

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