When your job is no longer enough

Becky Field for Smart Divorce

Tamsin talks to personal and small business coach Becky Field about starting a business or a side hustle. If you need more from life than your job provides, either psychologically or financially post-divorce, you may want to consider setting up on your own. Becky talks about how she did it and how she has built a community of others doing the same.

Becky Field is a Coach, Mentor, Hypnotherapist and practitioner of NLP & Time Line Therapy®️ with a black belt in boundaries!

A totally unemployable, strong woman with an unshakeable belief that there is always a solution!

She believes wholeheartedly that everyone’s life can be transformed through coaching, through letting go of all the bollocks that holds us back and truly facing everything with courage, or a sledgehammer!

She knows that every small business owners deserves more, and she will help you believe that too whilst making sure you develop a black belt in boundaries and a wonderfully balanced life through 1-1 or group coaching.

Borrow her faith in you before you have your own!

She is a food lover, a dog lover, a bright spark and a refreshing change!



Tamsin is a Chartered Financial Planner with over 20 years experience. She works with couples and individuals who are at the end of a relationship and want agree how to divide their assets FAIRLY without a fight.

You can contact Tamsin at tamsin@smartdivorce.co.uk or arrange a free initial meeting using https://calendly.com/tamsin-caine/15min. She is also part of the team running Facebook group Separation, Divorce and Dissolution UK

Tamsin Caine MSc., FPFS
Chartered Financial Planner
Smart Divorce Ltd


(The transcript has been created by an AI, apologies for any mistakes)

Tamsin Caine 0:01
Hello, and welcome to the Smart Divorce podcast. I’m delighted to be joined today by the wonderful Becky Field. Now I have to tell you what she told me I had to have to say to introduce her because this will make you giggle. So she says she’s a coach to small business owners, which is right, so she’s a fearful money Queen, and a genuinely nice person. I can absolutely vouch for the fact that she’s a genuinely nice person!

Becky Field 0:29
Well, I should have picked it up a little bit more, I think, Tomsin Thanks for having me.

Tamsin Caine 0:38
I love that when I read it, I was like, that’s, that’s just that, that’s just brilliant. So, so as as she said, Becky works with a lot of small business owners. And on the podcast, we haven’t really talked about starting your own business, but it’s certainly something that quite a lot of people ask me about when they’re coming out the sort of back end of divorce when they’re looking at starting to make some money, whether that be as a side hustle, or whether that be as a as a main stream of income. So I know you work with with lots of small business owners, so I thought it’d be great to have you on today to give us some ideas and some tips. And maybe talk a little bit about how you got started.

Becky Field 1:27
Yeah, absolutely. You know, and like we’ve just said, you know, just before we came on is that, you know, divorce or any sort of change is a massive, I always liken it to a snow globe where, you know, life circumstances, shake it off. And we literally need to kind of like let things settle. And and especially if you know, if you’ve been in a partnership for any length of time, I think or even in a job for any length of time when things change, we automatically have a period of reflection of even though it doesn’t feel calm, it feels totally disorganised. disorientated, and but actually, you know, once we let things settle, it is about a process of just thinking, What’s next? And so do you want me to carry on? Yeah, absolutely. So for me, I mean, I work with people before they go for a change. So usually when they’re in that low point where things have changed, but also they don’t know what to do next. So what I do is help people to realise what it is that they they want to do. And quite often, a lot of people come to me because they have lost direction, or they can’t see a way through. And especially if somebody is is come out of a partnership, that which has been for a period of time. And let’s face it, whenever we’re in a partnership, we lose a sense of our independence, sometimes we can lose a sense of our identity by becoming a mom by becoming a partner or a wife, or husband, even you know, I do work with, with men as well. So to actually then have that massive change, to then really re establish who they are and what they want to do is the first step really.

Tamsin Caine 3:19
Yeah, absolutely. I think so people sort of have this fear about starting their own businesses if they need to be me, show me a job. I was gonna say ici on day one, but I don’t think ACI have existed for about 20 years. They have this feeling the need to be some having a business to something huge. And so it probably be good to hear about your story. How did how did you start up? So your businesses Westville Coaching? Yeah, how did you start?

Becky Field 3:55
So mine was after a massive change as well. So I’ll tell you the process that I went through, because that is literally the process that I go through with anybody I coach at those at those stages as well. So when we we say setting up a business, it seems absolutely massive. But to set up a business is just getting on the internet, putting it in the HMRC and giving yourself a name and actually declaring that you are about to go self employed. That is all that setting up a business involves, okay. So if we’re looking at it is a little, it is just a tiny thing. But it’s the bit that’s before that to think do you know what what do I want to do? So I left I got made redundant from a job. I took this job for about three years because I was in poor mental health. So I needed to recover. And then I got made redundant which gave me a lump sum of money. And it wasn’t a huge amount, but it was enough for me to make the decision of setting up by myself. Now, I say that I made that decision like that, but what I actually did because I wrote down what i do want and what I don’t want from my next position, so whether that be a job or whether that be self employment, so for me, I wrote down what I didn’t want. And it was usually your that at that time it was based on my previous experiences, but also the current situation I was in with the job I was at. So I read the list of what I didn’t want, I didn’t want to work weekends, I work weekends, I didn’t want to work evenings, I work evenings, and all these things, what I was not what I didn’t want to do. And quite often, for some people, especially they’ve had a massive change, they don’t feel good about themselves. So actually, the, the negative thoughts are easier to establish. So I don’t want this I don’t want that I don’t want this, rather than what you do want, you know, sometimes when you feel as if you’re young got that lift to get to that point. So I wrote the list of what I didn’t want, which obviously, when when I wrote that list, it gave me the list of what I did want then so I wanted normal hours. I didn’t want to work five days a week, this was just my story. And I didn’t want to work weekends. I certainly didn’t want to do unsociable hours. And I didn’t want to work every weekend. And from MMA i thought you know what, I’m going to look for some things that fit into this which was why we went so to go self employed because my stipulations of what I wanted. And I wanted really to be in control. So I was thinking about this the other day actually Tamsin so when what my dog locally, and I walked past this place that I went for an interview out before I left the last job. And before I went self employed, and I thought to myself, when I went in there, I walked around, and I looked at the mess, the clutter, the disorganisation, the lack of order, the lack of how good to put it, the lack of customer service, you know, I went for my interview as normal, but I was still thinking, what can I do to change this now the position I interviewed for was not a position where I could change anything, you know, so but what that I recognised in myself was, you know, I’m really strong, I’m really independent. You know, I really like things a certain way, I’m really good, I’ve got so many fantastic skills, that when I then wrote down all these things that I could bring to a role or to a job or to self employment, It then became a viable solution to go self employed. So with this money that I got from the job, it was a case of, Okay, I knew I had to transition from teaching into coaching. And I couldn’t, I wasn’t eager, egotistical enough to think it was a straight transition without any qualification. So I started my studying before got made redundant. So the biggest investment was that in the first year, and then it was a case of, Okay, how am I going to do it? Who do I want to work with. And so just by actually writing down what our skill, what my skills were, it gave me an idea of what I could go into and what my business could be. And so that’s what I would encourage, first of all, is write down, you know, any of that write down a list, first of all, what you don’t want to do, and then write a list of your strengths and your skills that you have, you know, and sometimes, again, when we think about that low period that people might be in, you know, it might be that we ask our friends, we ask our, you know, people close to us, because we haven’t got that feeling of strength at that time sometimes. So if we ask the people, they will relate to us what our skills and strengths are.

Tamsin Caine 8:49
Yeah, I think you’re absolutely right. I think it can be really difficult to, to even be able to write those down, if you’re in it. If you’re in a place where you kind of feel that you’re not, you’re not worth anything. And you know, it’s not everybody who’s going to feel like that at the end of divorce. Some people will be like, yes. Well, here we go. Yeah. And for those people, those those lists are going to be absolutely brilliant in that and they’re going to be able to, to get on straight straightaway with those books for people who are finding, you know, feeling a bit you know, still fell in emotionally roll. Yeah. I think that’s a that’s a fantastic idea. And another thing you you said was that you got straight on with investing in yourself and putting yourself through qualification and know you’re a massive advocate for self development. And I know you’ve you’ve kind of have that as an ongoing thing with yourself. Is there a particular route that you would suggest people went down to find somebody to help them to through this process to work with.

Becky Field 10:08
I think if you’re, you know, initially starting off, I think, you know, asking people who have done it before? Yeah, you know, what are the pitfalls? So for example, I spoke to a lady the other day about setting up as a one to one diet consultant, you know, and what we see quite often, you know, it’s the stuff that’s behind that. So yes, we can all see it shiny. It’s fantastic. And, you know, and it seems like people are making 10,000 pounds a year or 10,000 pounds a month or whatever. But actually get into the facts of it, what does it take, you know, what is it going to take and, and quite often I say, before you can make an informed decision, you need to have the information. And so speaking to others who’ve done it before you, but also there is so much now, like working with a coach working with a mentor, where you can actually access this information. And where to think Well, where do I start, you know, if you there are so many places that offer this now, where, you know, it is about asking for help, I think that’s the main thing. Now, if you are that person who is like, yes, I’m free, and they’ve got all these ideas, and they invest loads and loads of money, all I would say is invest in the right things that are going to actually, you know, springboard you into success. Now success, as you know, when we, when we’ve spoken success can mean very different things to different people. And so again, clarity about what you want, and clarity about where you want to go, is always part of the plan. Now, I think personally, which I would say is, you know, for me having a coach, talk through those processes, and actually sound those ideas out, have been the best investment I’ve made, as you know, you know, over over the four years, I’ve always had a coach, I’ve always had a mentor. And it’s almost like someone shining the light as to where I need to go next, you know, when it’s about tweaking things as you go along. And although it’s really exciting setting up a business, it’s also knowing that, you know, it is a financial investments, it’s a massive time investment. And you know, we all want success. So what where do we put that? Where do we put our time? Where do we put our energy that’s going to give us the best return not just financially but emotionally and well? And for our well being as well?

Tamsin Caine 12:36
No, I think that’s I think that’s really good advice. It’s interesting what you’re saying about, about coaches and finding a coach or a mentor to work with because the same to be a gazillion came out, like everybody seems to be a coach at the minute. How do you know if you need to coach them? Where on earth do you start finding the right coach? for you in your, in your situation?

Becky Field 13:05
Yeah, I think you know, when when do you know that you need a coach is when you’ve exhausted talking to all your friends and family, you’re not doing anything about it, you know, somebody who’s got an outside of view, who can say to write this is a process of this is what I’ve done before this is what is successful. And also to find a coach, I think, yes, there are gazillions of us. But look for ones that are qualified, you know, I’ve got a bee in my bonnet about that. But also, you know, talk to them find out watch them watch how they’re, you know, I’ve thought about this recently, you know, because not everybody will want my lifestyle business, you know, so they might want another coach who was earning a lot a lot of money, they might that and that, again, goes back to the clarity of what they want. If they want a huge amount of money in their self employment, then they would go for a coach who was stating that they have made X amount of figures in their first month, etc, etc. It depends on what they want. But also a thing if you spoke to somebody and you know, on the phone, or just you know, just watching them on LinkedIn or watching their profiles and how they hold themselves what it is that’s important to them, then you can resonate with them or you don’t you know, and you’ll know that by scrolling past them. But you know, most coaches offer a some form of conversation before you commit financially anyway, I mean, I for me, that’s important as an ethical code anyway, is I will always port the person I speak to in front of the right person. You know, I always say to people, even though we can coach everybody, it’s not sometimes we don’t have to, you know, and it’s right to send them somewhere else as well. And so if somebody was looking for a coach, like I say it’s if you’ve exhausted talking to everybody and trying to get the information You need, but never actually put in a firt, your first step forward. And it’s just so you’re not on your own and you just go right and then once you speak to a coach, like for me, I have a single session a refocus session. And once you’ve done that refocus session for me, they’re away, it’s almost like your hands, you know, they go, you’ve got it, they will walk away with a white, you know, a massive piece of paper into their arms walking away for their steps and movement forward, you know, and that’s the exciting part is when you know that you’re ready to go, as in ready to take that next step, get a coach and let them walk with you.

Tamsin Caine 15:38
Yeah, absolutely. I know, when, before I started working with you, it was about as he kept coming into my vision. And while I was on social media, it there was something about the words that you used, and about their language that really resonated with me that really spoke to me. And I’m part of your group, which are called warriors. And this whole thing about, about being a warrior, and not that. And, and actually, that’s quite interesting, because I’m quite a broad pacifist, I’m quite a peaceful person. But there was something about conquering the world about being a warrior and about being part of this kind of supportive community, which, which really spoke to me. And that’s not going to speak to everybody, they’ll be different people that different types of language will speak to, but I do think it is this something in reading through whether somebody information speaks to you whether whether you kind of are not sort of moved, but what whether it kind of touches you in your heart, not just not just your brain, not just reading kind of the words and going on, that makes sense, needs to be more than that you need, I think you need to bet for the emotional response to it as well.

Becky Field 16:59
Absolutely. And I think you know, for you as well, just to give you, you know, I know, you say you kind of you know, a quiet passive, but what a fierce warrior, you are in your business, you know, and not only that you are forming these wonderful communities as well, which, you know, I would say your fears, a really good way of facing the scary in a lovely way that you lead by example. And I think, you know, I know, we’ve had this conversation before, but as you lead people, you lead people through their processes. And, you know, as a coach would Anyway, you know, and I think, you know, we all need you.

Tamsin Caine 17:45
I think and when we we’ve just mentioned about, like, I like the group coaching style, and other people, I’m sure what prefer a kind of one to one style, what, what could somebody who was approaching a coach for the first time? What can what should they expect? And what should they be looking for?

Becky Field 18:07
Oh, that’s a good question. So with a coach, I think it depends, again, it depends on what you want. But for me, it’s about when you have that first conversation, does that coach listen to you on what you want, because even though, you know, coaching is never led by the coach is always led by the client. So like with the group coaching, there’s quite a lot of mentoring in there. So it’s a case of right, this is what we’ll do. It’s a it’s like a nice switch of what this is a subject we’re going to investigate. Whereas with coaching, it’s kinda like it has to be led by the client. So if you felt you’re in a conversation with any coach, you know, that you were being squished, I call it squashed into a shape that isn’t yours, then walk away. Because at the end of the day, I, you know, I want to work with people who want their idea of success. And that sounds very wet. But what I mean by that is, you know, if they’re shaped like it, like a square, and I’m trying to fit them in a round hole, it’s not going to work. Lightweight, then, you know, the greatest success stories for us as coaches is when somebody, you know, flourishes in their business in whatever way that looks to them, but also feels, you know, able to do it on their own. And that, to me is a success, you know, and so yeah, look for look for somebody who listens to what you want, and always gives you back responsibility as well. You know, I’m a big one for saying, so what are you gonna do about it? And then, you know, and what I do with a coach is just helped me to get to where you want to get to, but it has to be led by you.

Tamsin Caine 19:53
Yeah, absolutely. I think what it’s not is having somebody to give you all the answers.

Becky Field 19:59
Yeah, yeah.

Tamsin Caine 20:00
No, it’s not, you’re not going. This is the problem. What What do I do? It’s about somebody helping you to find your own answers from from kind of inside you, isn’t it? Is that

Becky Field 20:13
Yeah, yeah, exactly. And also, you know, what are you motivated by I might be motivated, motivated by chocolate brownies, and, you know, spending time with my dogs. And but you might be might, you know, somebody else might be motivated in a very different way and for your for a coaching relationship to work, there needs to be that rapport and that understanding as to, you know, my coaching, to say, I coached you, Tamsin would be very different for me coaching somebody else, because your your idea of success, and what you want is different to another person’s. Now, I always said this when I was teaching, you know, it’s, it wasn’t about the kids are the young people adapting to me, it was about me adapting my skills to teach them. And it’s the same with coaching. It’s the same with coaching, you know? Yeah. So I would say, look for adaptability in your coach as well.

Tamsin Caine 21:08
Yeah, I think that’s good advice. So, in terms of great coaching, one of the things that that I love about our, our lovely worried group, is the is that you’d benefit from other people’s experiences, and other people’s views on the world, as well, as is just your own. And we’re all pretty supportive of one another enrol, or kind of China big each other up and so on. But, yeah, some of the situations where we’ve been put into smaller groups, and somebody’s seen the world from a completely different perspective. And to me, it just made a massive difference to see the way I’ve been able to view things, there any of the benefits that you see of being in a group coaching situation, as opposed to being one to one.

Becky Field 21:59
Yeah, I think, you know, group coaching for me is, is, you know, that’s how I started. So when I was in my worst position ever, of leaving, teaching, and losing my identity was personal development and group coaching that got me through those first stages. So, yes, the you’ve got the element of having their ideas as well. But also, it’s about having that the cheerleaders, the people who look after you, you know, look out for you as well, you know, because quite often, I hear a lot of people say, you know, it’s quite lonely in business. Now, I’m quite self sufficient. So I quite like a bit of isolation, but, you know, a lot of people don’t, you know, they need those sounding boards, you know, and quite often, I might not have the, the answers for you, but somebody else in the group? Well, you know, and I think that different perspective, different viewpoint is fantastic. And then the collaborative approach, as well, you know, to looking out for each other and kinda like going, Well, have you thought of this, so your industry comes in is very different to, you know, to somebody else’s industry. And yet the practices in the financial industry could really benefit somebody say, for, for example, copyrights in industry or, you know, graphic design industry. But the other thing is that I always say about the networking part of it is that, you know, who do you know, that I need to be introduced to? So it’s almost like I always say that everyone’s got like an address book. So it might not be working for you entirely. Bought, actually, I can put you onto somebody else. So for example, I’ve had one to one clients who I’ve sent to you, because I’ve had that relationship with you. And I know how good you are. So and I think it just opens up those possibilities to collaborate as well, which is, you know, quite often we feel in business, that it’s competitive. And it shouldn’t be, you know, I say it shouldn’t be it feels that way sometimes, but having a collaborative approach will actually open more doors than than you can imagine. And so yeah, I mean, the other the other obvious thing for group coaching is a slightly cheaper than the one to one coaching. And I think it’s important for me anyway to offer a different price points people because I want to I want people to access coaching, and in order for them to access it needs to be affordable. And you know, and I think the more people who get to know how effective coaching is, and the better you know, the better my business is, but the better everybody else feels about themselves and about their business as well.

Tamsin Caine 24:36
Yeah, I think you’re right. I think one of the things about particularly when you when you starting out, one of the massive benefits of having a group coaching is that you are there at all on social media, liking each other’s page sharing each other’s posts, like and you’ve got those people in your head almost constantly, you know, if I see we’ve got a wonderful lady who specialises in PT, French nutritionist. So as soon as I see that word anywhere on the internet, I’m like, you need to speak to this. She, she’s top of ma n. And it’s the same with all the old people in the group. As soon as I see somebody who needs somebody who one of us that does that work, you straight on it, and they’re in the top of your mind all the time, because you see them regularly, not in person, because we’ve not been able to do that yet. But you see them all the time, you know, we have regular contact, and so they’re at the forefront of your mind. And that’s what networking is at the end of the day, isn’t it? Yeah, it’s been at the forefront of somebody’s mind so that when they need what you do, you’re the person they they go to.

Becky Field 25:51
Exactly and it’s reciprocated as well, I think that’s the lovely thing, you know, when I think you know, as long as it’s a genuine referral, and that’s the great thing about worry is, is that we get to know each other, personally, but also professionally, we know people’s ethics, we know the way they think we know their intention behind the business. So when we refer or recommend somebody is a genuine recommendation, because we know exactly that whoever uses whatever services we’re promoting, they’re going to be in safe hands, you know. So yeah, absolutely. And I think, you know, we’ve been extremely lucky with the worries we’ve got at the moment, I think we’ve got some fab fabulous, fabulous businesses, you know, and everyone’s at different stages, which is lovely, you know, people starting off people need in that confidence people just need in that support. But, you know, it’s been a fantastic year for so many in their businesses has grown by the effort that they’ve put in, which is fantastic.

Tamsin Caine 26:52
Yeah, definitely. And I think another thing that’s worth mentioning, you know, if, if there’s anybody watching this or listening to this, that’s not that perhaps has a job and isn’t ready to give it all up, and wants to start doing something as a this is like an overused word at the minute but side also want to have a side hustle at the minute. You know, if you want to generate some other income in a different way, we’ve got people who work in our group coaching who aren’t, you know, they have a business, but it’s not necessarily their full time work, it’s still worth being part of some coaching, isn’t it? Because you can build that?

Becky Field 27:35
Oh, yeah, exactly. And, you know, I think I’m going to mention the MLM words as well, you know, the network marketing, because I just think people have a, you know, a very different perspective on it. But I think it’s such an amazing, amazing way to bring an income in while you’re in a transition stage. So for example, you know, one to one diets, that you might be Osborn books, it might be Body Shop, all of those that actually do, sometimes it opens a door for people’s confidence so that they know that they can shut this door of employment to go and open a door of self employment. And I think, you know, quite often what, what people forget, with network marketing is, you do have a mental built into the actual strategy of the business, you know, you are supported throughout as well. But, you know, being part of a group coaching, experience, will just build that confidence until you get the confidence to go, right. Okay, I’m going to close this door, and open this next one. And it’s having things in place, I always say it’s like building that foundation before you actually start building the business later on.

Yeah, definitely is it’s, it’s about taking, taking the steps and knowing, okay, I’m not going to be in this scenario forever. Well, this is this, this is the step and this is what feels right for me and what I want to do with my life at the minute and, you know, no, network marketing can be fantastic, particularly for we know a lot of like parents who have need to work around their children and can’t necessarily commit to office hours job or go into another place because they’ve got family commitments. And sometimes there’s network marketing job. So every exactly what you need to be able to give you that flexibility, but without kind of jumping in with an idea of your own. That’s not ever been done before. It’s like you say there have got backing your support, haven’t they in it, and it’s not everybody’s cup of tea, and I know there are some out there that haven’t got particularly good names, but you do need to do your research. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And I also think as well, you know, the, the recently I’ve spoken to a lady who is in employment, but wants to set up on our own and quite often the The The only thing to consider there is the matching the wage. So the match in that wage and almost what we need is we need a guarantee that that wage is going to come from self employment. And it’s not going to come straight away. Which is why if you build the business gradually before you leave the job, it’s almost like that safety net. So especially if you’ve got family, especially if you’ve got commitments, then it’s almost like you need to say, right, okay, I’m matching that income with this, and then it makes it easier to make that decision to switch.

Tamsin Caine 30:33
Sure. No, I think you’re absolutely right.We’ve been talking for half an hour, Becky, we’re quite good at this. Before we wrap up, have you got any, any tips? So for somebody who is thinking that they’re going to make that leap, and either start up a business as their full time gig or, or a supplement to their, their full time job? Have you got any tips,

Becky Field 31:03
I just think what you’ve said something is do your research, make sure it’s what you want to do. Write a list of what you do want, or what you don’t want, whichever, and make sure that really what is important to us. So I talk about core values a lot, you know, and sometimes to find out your core values is what really annoys you in the world. What is it triggering you? And then so it’s kinda like, you know, and then you will get your core values. So if you get irate at some injustice on the telly, for example, or in the news, then one of your main main things is justice. And so yeah, find out what’s important to you and find out I would say, on a practical level, is how much do you need to bring in to cover all your bases so that what you are intending to do? And we’ll actually do that at some stage, you know, and obviously, My top tip would be to get a coach and a one that you resonate with, and one that you feel you could work with.

Tamsin Caine 32:05
Brilliant. That’s fantastic. Becky, thank you so much for joining me this morning. It’s been really great to talk to and I’ll see you soon. Thanks, Tamsin. Look after yourself. See you soon.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai